06 Aug REVEALED: How You Can FINALLY Get Mugged In Rome
Have you ever wanted to know the secrets to getting mugged in Rome, but just didn’t know where to start or who to ask?
Well, thankfully, you’re reading this and about to take the first steps on your journey towards finding someone else’s hand in your right pocket as they gracefully acquire your beloved Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge.
The True Roman Experience
Taking what’s not yours is a core part of the history of Rome and the Roman Empire. Whether it was land, people or the numerous Egyptian obelisks doted around the city, to live the true roman experience is to have something of yours taken and used to benefit someone else.
The epicentre of this age old tradition in Rome was at the central train station – Roma Termini. Thousands of tourists must flock through it when they are coming and going out of the city and many get to opportunity to have their personal belongings taken. Exciting.
I was curious to see if i’d actually witness some mugging taking place, but was pleasantly surprised when I got first hand experience of it less than 5 mins off the airport bus wandering around the train station.
So, if this traditional, exhilarating and adrenaline pumping activity is something you’ve always wanted to tick off the bucket list, I’ve put together a handy 5 step guide so that you too can get yourself mugged in Rome. Enjoy!
1:Look Like a Stupid Tourist
One of the most important things you can do to try and get mugged is to make sure you’re signalling to the people around you that you’re a tourist. Lugging around several large suitcases, backpacks and a large fold out map will really aid this process.
The luggage divides your attention across many items, leaving pockets, bags and wallets exposed. Crucial for mugging really. The large map blocks your view of your immediate envrionment too.
All in all, this lets the people around you know that your foreign, flustered and and here to get mugged.
2: Heads in Phones
Another key to getting mugged in Rome is to constantly have your head stuck in your phone.
It helps if your mobile phone provider hasn’t activated your data roaming, even though you pay for it and have it turned on in the settings. This ensures that you’ll be left waiting for pages and maps to load on your device far longer than is needed.
It shows the would be pick pocketers what phones you have, whether they are worth robbing and again, leaves them time to approach without being seen at all.
3: Stare at this stupid kiss and ride sign
Hilarious. At this point, it’s time to stop, drop all your bags and luggage, take out your phone and take a picture of this sign at the Roma Termini station. It’s gas and could be the ticket to your internet fame.
This also gives the people tracking you time to catch up and strategically position themselves for the pick pocketing that’s about to take place.
4: Ripe Pockets
Pick a pair of shorts or trousers to wear on the day, where the stuff you’d put in the pockets would naturally fall out anyway. The more unsecure and useless the pockets, the better. We don’t want zips or buttons, we want shallow, almost pointless pockets at this stage.
It primes the S7 Edge – or whatever the phone of choice is – to be lifted with ease out of your life.
5: TAKE THE FREE MONEY
Part of the job of the pick pocketer is to offer you money. A handful of coins will be presented to you and why in the name of god would you reject the offer?
You’re only in the country 5 minutes and already you’re making money. As you’re taking the money it does give this person a reason to enter your personal space, drape a blanket over her left arm and your right pocket and take your phone, but hey, you just made €1.66.
You made money and experienced one of the oldest Roman customs – theft. And that’s got to be worth far more than the price of your phone, right? (Nope…)
Bonus Mugging Tips
If you find that you can’t get mugged at the train stations, don’t worry. Many of the restaurantes, bars and shops will gladly oblige.
And what’s more, the strange City Tax Rome charges all tourists will make sure that you don’t leave without being shafted in some small way.
PS – Italy wasn’t all bad. A pigeon took a shit on my head too.