05 May If God Controls The Weather – Here Are His 5 Favourite Types of Natural Disaster
You’ve probably heard the comments that Independent TD Danny Healy-Rae made during the week about man made climate change:
“I believe that God above is in charge of the weather and we here can’t do anything about it.”
You might have wanted to smash your face into the nearest wall upon hearing that statement, but let’s go with him here for a minute.
Let’s take a trip inside ‘Healy-Rae land’ and place God at the controls of the global weather system.
For just a few moments, suspend your logical and critical thinking and just accept God into your heart and mind.
What do we learn?
Firstly, it’s important to note that between the years 1995 and 2015 there have been 6,457 weather related disasters, according to the report by the United Nations Office For Disaster Risk Reduction. Jesus Christ, God has been very busy.
During that time period 606,000 people lost their lives and a further 4.1 billion were either injured, made homeless or needed emergency medical attention.
God’s been a bit of a dick. In fact, this type of behaviour could be categorised as sociopathic.
Professor of Sociology and Criminology Scott Bonn, Ph.D. outlines that sociopaths have a tendency to display violent behaviour, they are volatile and prone to random emotional outbursts and display a disregard for the rights of others.
God has turned his weather into a weapon of mass destruction. He’s the single greatest threat to humanity and we all should be very afraid of him .:(
But, over the last 20 years, what have been God’s favourite type of natural disasters to deploy on an unsuspecting population? What are his top 5?
God’s Top 5 Natural Disasters
Okay surprise, he has 8 favs, but he loves floods and storms the most, making up 71% of all the natural disaster occurrences over the last 20 years.
Earthquakes, extreme temperatures and landslides taking spots 3, 4 and 5.
Turns out though, God’s most popular disasters are not as effective at killing large numbers of people – which seems to be his main goal as master of the weather.
When we look at his most lethal ones, we get this:
God apparently isn’t a fan of big data or analytics, as he could have easily adjusted his weather operations to become a more successful global serial killer with this information.
And what about his organic reach? Which natural disasters affect the most people, because that’s different again:
God Hates The Chinese
If God truly does control the weather, he fucking hates us. He also really hates people from Asia, as most of his terror weather attacks were focused there.
Getting even more specific, he hates the Chinese the most, having disrupted more than 2 billion of them over the last 20 years, more than any other nation.
Which isn’t sound. The Chinese as we all know, are a great bunch of lads.
So, to truly place God at the control centre of our weather isn’t the nicest idea at all. Especially if you’re a practising christian.
God really isn’t coming across well and if I was religious, I’d let science take this one.
The info used here in this article was mainly taken from the Human Cost of Weather Realted Disasters Report 1995 – 2015. An interesting enough read if you’re bored.