06 Apr 7 Secrets To Spend Far Too Much Money In Bratislava
So I spent Easter Weekend in Bratislava, a lot of people were asking me, how I wound up spending so much money in a city that’s renowned for being so cheap.
Out of 56 European countries, Bratislava, Slovakia, ranked as 14th cheapest in this PriceofTravel.com article, but that didn’t stop me from spending a small fortune and ensuring that I’ll be struggling to feed myself come the end of the month.
So, here are my 7 essential tips, that you can use in Bratislava – or any cheap holiday destination – to make sure that you get the least out of your money while travelling there.
1: Set a Budget
One of the most important things you can do is set a budget. That way you’ll clearly be able to see exactly how much you overspent by.
There’s no point having a vague idea that you might have spent far too much money. Set a clear amount for your time away and by the end, you’ll know to the cent, how much you went over and how much of a reckless fuckhead you were with your money.
That kind of information is priceless.
2: Stay In An Expensive Hotel
Sure, you could stay in a perfectly fine hostel for about €8.60 a night, but slap a zero at the end of that and you’re in a 5 Star Hotel and Spa for the weekend!
And, more importantly, staying in an overpriced 5 Star hotel, really sets you up psychologically to make you think you’ve more money than you actually have.
This is key if you want to maximize the overspend.
3. Mini Bar
Even though there’s a shop across the road from the hotel – you can even see it out the poxy window – don’t go, just feed yourself from the mini bar. (Would someone staying in a 5 Star be seen dead in a Tesco?! Fuck no.)
Bottles of water (300ml) are €4 – in the Tesco across the road they’re 44c for 1.5L – but they do come with a nice surprise when you check out. An additional 20% tax slapped on top.
4. Don’t Haggle. Ever.
Even if you’re taking the exact same taxi trip that only an hour before cost you about half of what you’re paying now, don’t haggle.
Don’t cause a fuss, especially in a different country, where other’s can’t really understand you. What are you, American?!
Imagine how awkward arguing with an Slovak taxi man who can’t speak English would be?! The only reason he’s a taxi man is because his time in the army came to a sudden halt when Slovakia was violently liberated from the Czechoslovakian Republic.
He’s killed a man. And you want to save yourself €5..?
5: Don’t Plan.
Life is about spontaneous adventures and often this spontaneous spirit of life can really help you spend more than you can afford.
Sure, you could use the free WiFi in the hotel to find a number of low cost restaurants within a 5 minute walking distance, or you could walk around aimlessly until you wonder into one of the most expensive ones and are too embarrassed/Irish to get up and leave.
That’s 2 fried dicks on soggy chips, with half a pancake and some weird green plants. €33.
6: Fall for The Old “We’ve No Change” Trick
Remember, one of the best ways to experience the local culture and traditions in a new country is to find the Irish bar and set up shop for the night.
There you can compare Guinness consistency, the price of Jameson and let the barmen fool you into thinking they’ve no change, so you buy double what you want and get all the staff a round too.
They’ll think you’re a fucking tool, but that’s the price you pay when you’re looking to spend more than you need to.
7: Travel To A More Expensive City
An extreme option, but if the low cost of living in Bratislava isn’t helping you exceed budget targets, then why not travel to Vienna in Austria?!
It’s only 80km away, but it’s a far more expensive and easy way to part with your cash. (It’s the 34th cheapest city in europe.).
There you can be sold the most expensive 2 Day Sight Seeing Bus Tour Ticket, even though you’re only going to be there for about 6 hours and won’t get to use most of it.
Did I Miss Anything?
So, they are my 7 essential tips to spending more money than you need to in Bratislava. If you’ve any other suggestions on how to increase spending, please let me know.